Sentence Challenge of the day (SCOTD): What is missing?

Maybe I’m crazy, but there seems to be something important missing from this sentence. Anyone care to dissect it with me?

However, I do know from traveling to some other states and reviewing their best practices (Florida, Kansas, Texas, Ohio, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Michigan) through the Successful School Program Initiative to develop systems to integrate not only an effective curriculum to help students achieve at all levels throughout their academic careers, but to engage the parents and community in that endeavor to ensure their success outside of the classroom through innovative programs and sustainable efforts that had measurable outcomes both in and out of the classroom.

Particularly ironic and amusing is the sentence’s origin: part of a conversation on reading and writing education.

Law School: If you mislead people, it looks like a good idea.

To anyone who has ever questioned their decision to not attend law school:

I have some suggested reading, particularly if you are a part of the Millennial generation like me. People used to tell me all the time growing up that I should be a lawyer, and I considered law school very briefly. The further I got into economics, though, the more I realized that wouldn’t be the best idea. (If you are in law school, you’ll probably be happier if you stop reading now. Med school students, on the other hand, might wish to continue for the amusement.)

First, there’s this satire of a recent op/ed on law schools. Believe it or not, the satire can be read before the actual piece without much (if any) loss of amusement factor.

Then of course you likely wish to read the original piece.

If you prefer debunking to satire, your options are many. There’s Salon and a site called Above The Law for starters.

I, for one, enjoyed the scathing responses immensely because the original op/ed is indeed full of misleading statements and half-truths. There’s probably a way to defend attending law school, but this is not it.

#7: Tornado Sirens

How many people in the United States know exactly what a tornado siren sounds like? I haven’t the faintest clue what the answer to that is, but I know what a siren sounds like. I have taken that for granted nearly all my life.

I was listening to a Pandora comedy station, and a track about tornado sirens came on. The comedian was visiting Nebraska and the sirens went off. It has barely ever occurred to me that most people have no idea what those sirens sound like. The few times I’ve thought about have led me to these realizations:

1. There are many cities that never test their sirens.
2. Even people who live in tornado-prone areas may not know what the siren sounds like.
3. It’s amusing to me that people might hear a tornado siren and go, “What the hell is that noise?”

Where I grew up they test the sirens once a month – the first Wednesday of every month. You get very used to the sound, but I still think, “What day is it?!” every time they test it because you want to be sure it is actually the first Wednesday of the month.

So here you go, this is what they sound like. Memorize it in case you ever visit tornado country during tornado season.

Jesus Take The Wheel: Really, you picked him?!

You may recall my post from a little over a month ago about the song “Jesus take the wheel.”

I know I didn’t make quite enough fun of it last time, so I thought I’d add this little thought.

Nevermind how incredibly arrogant it is to think that the savior of your religion has time to deal with your inability to keep driving your motor vehicle properly down the road or how horrible it is that you would risk not only your own life, but the lives of other drivers by giving up control over your car without knowing if your god will be able to immediately take over.

Why would you pick Jesus?

Being objective, if Jesus lived he never drove a car. He probably never drove a horse and cart, even. Of all people to give over control of a motor vehicle to, Jesus is one of the worst choices. Driving isn’t exactly hard, but it does take some skill. And in a scary emergency when you decide to give over control of your car to a dead person/spirit/whatever, I think you could pick a lot more wisely than a carpenter from two thousand years ago.

Dale Earnhardt would probably be happy to help if his soul/spirit/whatever isn’t too busy. He died in a car crash, but he can probably handle your low-speed drama.