Dear People Calling Themselves “Pro-family”

Dear People Calling Themselves “Pro-family”:

You cannot have “pro-family.” I will not let you have that term, and I know many, many other people that won’t let you have it. You are not “pro-family.” You are pro-heterosexual-nuclear-family, and many of you are even more restrictive in regards to what you favor.

A family is not just a husband, a wife, and a child or children. A family is a group of people who love and care for one another. That could mean a the typical 1950s nuclear family, but it may also mean two dads and their children or a group of three adults of varying ages who have essentially adopted one another as family. It could mean two mothers and their children. It could mean a single parent and children. It could mean some combination of grandparents, aunts, uncles, parents and children. The word “family” isn’t so narrow as you would have it.

Wikipedia defines family as “a group of people affiliated by consanguinity, affinity, or co-residence.” Family can be defined in many ways, but it is nearly always a positive thing. I will not let you take that from everyone who lacks your narrow views. I will not let you take “pro-family” away from those couples that want to marry and raise children, but can’t because they are treated as second-class citizens. I will not allow you to call yourself pro-family when you advocate the removal of children from gay parents, when you deny gay parents the chance to adopt or foster children, when you deny couples the right to have their relationship civilly recognized.

You are not “pro-family” if you prefer families be ripped apart because of the sexual orientation of the parents or if you prefer preventing families from starting based on the sexual orientation of prospective parents. You are not “pro-family” if you deny that single parents can raise children well. You are not “pro-family” if you do not support insurance benefits for married couples and their children because that couple happens to be two people of the same sex. You are not pro-family; you cannot have that term.

Pro-family means believing families are a good unit of social organization. Pro-family means you believe that having loving individuals surround you is a good thing. Pro-family means you favor children being raised in a loving, stable environment. I am pro-family, in the broadest and most favorable of senses; you are not. Pick a more appropriate term, or better yet, become less ignorant, bigoted, and overly involved in others’ sex lives.


Amanda the Atheist

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6 thoughts on “Dear People Calling Themselves “Pro-family”

  1. One telling fact that I’ve noticed about politicians who talk this way is that they tend to speak not in terms of “families” and “children” but rather in terms of “the Family” or “the Child.” It may just be a coincidence, but it always gives me the impression that they’re talking about some sort of Platonic ideal of what a family or a child is supposed to be, rather than families and children as they actually exist in real life.

  2. I’d like to adopt your definition of ‘pro-family’.

  3. Awesome piece. You nailed just by saying they cannot have the term.

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